toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
