Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
