He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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