i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
