Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
please come you make the beer taste better
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
