Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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