Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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