I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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