apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
