Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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