So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The feeling are messing with the penis
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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