It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
