Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
