and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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