Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
try to milk me bitch
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