then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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