Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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