I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
