my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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