I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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