Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
