Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
