My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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