Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
