I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize