He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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