Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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