my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
