I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
