The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize