Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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