Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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