I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
