so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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