Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
