i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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