You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize