Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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