I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
