STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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