Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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