so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize