She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
