Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
