i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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