the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
These tits shall not be calmed
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