Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
