The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
