mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
birth control should be required to get into college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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