I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
