You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need a beard to bite.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
