You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
