oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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