somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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