Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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