you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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