I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
