We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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