Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this just has baby written all over it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
