$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think brook has ever known best
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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