Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
