Yo dont text me then not text me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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