Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
