so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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