This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize