Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
