Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
